& my world will be coloured.

Sunday, August 24

i knw i shldn't be here. but i just fell like coming here since i was studying for lit just nw. anw, went for safr bay run just nw. ok luhs. sometimes, its best to shut up and move on with life. if i make a point to pick and dwell on everything tht displease me, i might as well end my life. so, look on the bright side.

took train n thn shuttle bus bk. thought of loads of things. i love my phone. it accompanied me through the whole long endless journey. at tht point of time, lots of memories flooded my mind. lols. i thought of many different things and conversations i had with my friends, families you n you. i bet all of you dun undertand wht im crapping nw. i hv no idea why, tears are welled up in my eyes. i thought im supposed to feel happy, to be contented with my life?

like i told pig many times, i couldn't take it anymore. bt u always told me tht theres a sln to everything. u said its a stupid idea to think tht i couln't take it antmore. i believe you, i will. i promise nv to cry. to let my tears go to waste unless the situation is of an extreme. and now, the time spent with u will be much lesser. take care. thank you for th care i received in the past.

tht day, whn huiqing asked me tht qn, i was. sort of stun. perhaps it nv occurred to me tht things are going to fast without myself taking a moment to think of whts the use of all these.i think im too native, always putting all these things to the back of my mind. thinking tht i will nv touch all these stuffs ever agn, quietly making a promise to myself. nv ever associate myself with all these. sometimes, in retrospect, i really hate myself. for being so horrible to thm. my parents.

and when k ask me tht qn, or wait. tell me abt hw u feel. i rlly wanted to slap ur face. like bang ur head or sth. somehow, i cant believe wht u claim. i cant believe anything u said. like i told u, there are many things in life for u to discover. i am sort of surprised at my composure. imagine me in this situation a yr ago, i would jump into it, into the wht seemingly looking good but dangerous pool of hope. and i am thankful to have a at least nt bad brain, to reming myself tht studies is my main piority.

and, i realise this. i ask lots of ppl to tell me a story.and mostly, i its associated with death. i wonder why. i loveteardrops on my guitar, dun ask me why. lols.

and whn the train zoomed past ur area, i wonder how many times i ponder on the possibility of seeing you. lols. im so. horrible. haha, im glad all these are thrown away.

p.s. dear sis, thx for being there. the crazy times and the times i just randomly feel like singing a crazy tune or simplr slap all of u.

& take care pig. for ur dad is monitoring u nw.lols.

& you, congrats. im glad i made the right choice tht day, tht night, tht month, tht msg.

Crystal ♥ 7:57 PM